Mother's rights in Islam

An excerpt from my book: A Walk Through Life: issues and challenges through the eyes of a Muslim woman; p 82-83 on 'Mother's rights in Islam.

'Be careful of your duty toward Allah in whom ye claim (your rights) of one another, and toward the wombs (that bare you). Lo! Allah hath been a watcher over you.'
Surah An-Nisa, 4:1

In Islam, the honour, respect, and esteem attached to
motherhood are unparalleled. A mother is most deserving of her
children's good companionship and being dutiful to her is an
expiation of major sins. Islam showed the priviledge and honour
that should be given to a mother by her children through the famous
advice given by Prophet Muhammad pbuh:
"A man asked the Prophet: 'Whom should I honour most?' The
Prophet replied: 'Your mother'. 'And who comes next?' asked the
man. The Prophet replied: 'Your mother'. 'And who comes next?'
asked the man. The Prophet replied: 'Your mother!'. 'And who
comes next?' asked the man. The Prophet replied: 'Your father'"
(Bukhari and Muslim).
It is good to remind ourselves that besides making sure
that the children have enough in terms of food, clothing and home,
we have to provide them with spiritual and emotional needs as well.

This will ensure the honour asked by the Prophet pbuh to be given
to mothers be assuredly ours. With responsible parenting and
Islamic ethical approach, mothers also reserve the right to be
treated by their children in the manner described by Allah swt as
follow:

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that
you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old
age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, not shout at them,
but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of
submission and humility through mercy, and say: 'My Lord! Bestow on
them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.”
Surah Al-Isra' 17:23-24


Ibn 'Abbas said: “This means treating them with respect and
kindness, and lowering the wing of humility to them, not answering
them harshly or glaring at them, not raising one's voice to them, but
being as humble towards them as a slave towards his master.”

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I would like to share with you the story of Uways ibn 'Amir: (as told by Ust Zahazan one evening - Radio IKIM), as I shared with Aiman and Azzam.

Uways lived with his old mother in Yemen and had a wish to see the august person of RasulAllah s.a.w., who lived in Madinah, in his lifetime. So one day, he asked his mother for her permission to leave for the long journey, but his mother turned down his request, saying that," I am old and weak, who will look after me when you are gone?" The next year, Uways again asked his mother for her permission to undertake the journey to meet RasulAllah s.a.w. and again his mother answered, " I am weak and old, who will look after me if you are not around?" Thus Uways postponed again his wish until the next year and he again spoke to his mother about his intention. His mother then answered." Why not bring me with you?" Uways then started the journey with his mother riding on his camel. The journey was long and his camel soon died, leaving Uways and his old mother who was too old to walk. He then carried her on his back and continued the journey on foot. His mother could not withstand the journey and also died. After burying his mother, he continued the journey until he reached Madinah. He saw the people of Madinah was in disarray and he asked what was the cause. The people of Madinah said," Did you not know that RasulAllah has died?"

Eventhough Uways never met the Prophet s.a.w. in his lifetime, his commitment and filial piety was accepted by Allah SWT and the Prophet s.a.w. was informed about Uways by Allah SWT. The Prophet s.a.w. told Umar al-Khattab r.a. to look out for Uways as can be read in the following riwayat:

Every time ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (radhiallahu anhu) saw the reinforcements from Yemen, he asked them, “Is Uways ibn ‘Amir among you?” - until he found Uways. He asked him, “Are you Uways ibn ‘Amir?” Uways said, “Yes.” ‘Umar asked, “Are you from the clan of Murad in the tribe of Qaran?” Uways said, “Yes.” ‘Umar asked, “Did you have leprosy, then you were cured of it except for an area the size of a dirham? Uways said, “Yes.” ‘Umar asked, “Do you have a mother?” Uways said, “Yes.” ‘Umar said: “I heard Allah’s Messenger(sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) say: ‘There will come to you with the reinforcements from Yemen a man called Uways ibn ‘Amir of the clan of Murad from the tribe of Qaran. He had leprosy but has been cured of it except for a spot the size of a dirham. He has a mother, and he has always treated her with kindness and respect. If he prays to Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala), Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) will fulfil his wish. If you can ask him to pray for forgiveness for you, then do so.’ So ask Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) to forgive me.” Uways asked Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) to forgive him, then ‘Umar asked him, “Where are you going?” Uways said, “To Kufah.” ‘Umar said, “Shall I write a letter of recommendation for you to the governor there?” Uways said, “I prefer to be anonymous among the people.”